What is the World Coming to
by averagelysaxy
Summary: An example of a Mary Sue fanfiction, and an example of a sued-down fic. Both will eventually be published individually here and on deviantart, but I'm just going to put them together for now v There will be some preciousmetalshipping in later chapters (wahoo!) I suck at summaries, so JUST READ IT ALREARDY :D
1. Chapter 1

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Hi everyone, itsa me, Anya I'm gonna make an example of a Mary Sue pokemon fic today, along with the actual one. So basically two fics at once, and ones going to be more awful than the other XD I'm going to include a commentary on the Sue fic. The sue is called Why Am I Writing this: A Sue Fiction, and the other is called Black Absol(By the way, this is based off of the video games, not the manga 3)

(sue)

A girl with striking red hair walked by the teenage boy, also with hair of a similar color. The only difference between their appearance was that the girl was much prettier than he, with her long eyelashes, perfect figure and glittering eyes. (Yup. Praising the characters beauty)

He was schocked at how much she looked like him, but it was probably nothing, so he just blew it off.

(I like that first part, despite its sueness)

The girl was Galaxy Arlee Yamazaki (because you know lances last name is obviously Yamazaki *sarcasm* and how the frig did I come up with the name Arlee XD ahhh seventh grade me), a sixteen year old girl who had been secretly living with lance for her entire life. He took her in as his own when she was a baby, but kept her a secret for reasons he will not tell her.

She was walking home from the beauty salon (cause sues need to look their best! right?) with her naturally black Absol, Crystal (wut the color) to Lance's mansion (because a sue cannot live in a regular house, despite the fact the champion probably doesnt make a shit ton of money) in Lavender town (you know, totally not Blackthorn city. Lavenders pretty, so perfect for sues).

As Galaxy walked through the doors, she was greeted by the butler, Steve, who is a total pervert for her (oh yeaaaaah written like a sue fic).

"Hello mistress Galaxy, would you like for me to take your thi-"

"NO GO AWAY YOU SICK MAN."

He was used to this treatment, so he left her to do it herself, as always. He was starting to develop a complex. (Poor Steve D

When she walked into the living room to drop off her beauty supplies, she came accross Lance, who was asleep on the couch. This annoyed her, since thats her couch, so she kicked him, and when he woke up, she switched her grimace to a sweet smile. "I'm back!" Lance sat up, holding his stomach. "Why did you do that?!" Her face changed back. "Thats MY couch, and you know that!" "Sorry." Lance grumbled, walking out of the room. Crystal immediatly jumped onto the couch and cuddled up in her fur.

"By the way," Lance poked his head back into the room, still in pain, "We're going to get back those stolen Pokemon tomorrow from Team Rockets's base. I got the card from a friend."

"Fine." Galaxy spat out.

(Thats chapter one for the sue fic! Time to get to the other )

As she was returning from running errands, Lucy could feel someone watching her. She sent out her Absol, Mist, from her Pokeball for protection. Even though Mist is generally afraid of everything, which ultimitly led to her freaking out about a battle in a dye shop and spilling permenant black dye in her fur, she still makes her feel better when she is out.

After awhile, the feeling went away, and they were almost back to where they lived in Blackthorn City with Lance. He had taken in the sandy haired girl when she was a baby, but has kept her a secret from the public for reasons he won't tell her.

When she walked into the door, Lance was there, holding a card. "I got it. We are going into the base tomorrow."

"Alright." She said. After putting the groceries on the table, she went back to him. "Do you have the uniforms, too?"

"Yeah."

The building they were going to invade was the base of Team Sol, a group of theives that had just recently shown in the Jhoto reason and have had booming success. They had stolen some of the elite fours pokemon, and they were going in to get them back.

Lucy went to her room to get an early rest, and Mist jumped right in her basket. The black Pokemon immediently fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

After putting on their uniforms and leaving their mansion, Lance got on his Dragonite and Galaxy got on her Rayquaza (did I spell that right? oh well its a sue fic i dont care XD How does one even fit on a Rayquaza?) and they flew to the Kanto region where the Team Rocket base layed.

(that was a short first part, even for me XD)

*******

When they got there, they went through one of the back enterances, where a gaurd confronted them. "Who are you?" They flashed their fake card, which he didn't see through, and he let them pass. "Everyone here's an idiot," she mumbled, "I'm so glad I'm not related to any of them."

They had made it through pretty far and were getting close to the main office. But, as she was walking, Galaxy saw the same boy she had seen walking home from the beauty salon. As he passed her, he stoped and smirked. Suddenly, he whiped aroud and tore off Lances disguise (TEEHEEHEEHEE MASTERSHIPPING), revealing who he really was.

When they ran away, the boy pulled an alarm, and began chasing after them, along with all of the lower ranked in the building.

As she ran through the hallways, her long red hair following behind her, they had encountered a tall, scary looking man in a black suit. He looked over at her, and smiled. "Shit." Lance muttered. Doing the only think he could do, he pulled out a pokeball and said "I challenge you to a pokemo-" He was cut off as a dozen grunts toppled on top of them.

*********

In the boss's office, they were sat on a couch in front of Giovanni. "What do you want?!" Galaxy said. Smirking, he said "You, Galaxy Arlee Kawaii Princess."

Shocked, she said "What do you mean? Who's that?"

With a not so surpised look on his face, he said "Did he never tell you who your father is?"

Her eyes got really wide. She glared at Lance.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I swear I didn't know! I only knew your mom! I didn't know much about her personal life, I swear!"

Shunning Lance, she asked "What am I supposed to do?"

"If you want, you can come live with me and your brother, Silver. Or you can stay with him. Your choice."

She was still pretty mad at Lance, so she told him she would stay with him.

He called for Silver. After a couple of minutes he showed.

"What."

"Take your sister to the mansion."

"Who." He looked at Galaxy. "Oh, its you.

*********

_well, thats it for the sue fic for now! Now to get to the sued-down one~_

It was time to get ready for their mission.

After they got on their uniforms, they began to discuss their plan of attack. "If we go in this way-"

"No the key slot is over here."

"Oh, than lets start over here and just see what happens."

"Are you sure you want to do that again?" Lance stood up, "Last time we did that we almost got caught."

"We don't have time for an actual plan." Lucy said, tying her hair into a low ponytail.

The peachy-orange uniforms had luckily fit them. Conveniently, the Team Sol uniform came with masks to cover their faces.

As Lance got on his Dragonite and Lucy struggled to get on her Salamance, they had to talk about one more thing.

"Hey, if anyone tries anything weird, don't be afraid to run away." He was worried, since this would be their first time actually confronting their boss, Rodrick Bickmont. He wasn't sure what challenges layed ahead as they flew away.

*********

When they entered the building, they were stopped by a gaurd. "Who are you? State your names." Lance paused. "I'm Wilford, and this is Pauleen. We're new recruits." He believed them and let them through.

As they were walking through the building, they passed by an older boy who had a striking respemblance to Lucy. She stared while walking by, causing him to notice her.

He stopped. Without turning around, he said "Are you new?" She too paused. "Um... Yeah..." Suspicous, he turned to Lance. "Take off your mask." With this, they began to run, but not before he managed to rip off Lucy's mask. "Get them!" He yelled as he pulled an alarm.

They finally made it to the door, but it was locked. "Damn..." Lance muttered. They turned to find their most elite members with their most powerful pokemon waiting for them. They were caught.

***********

In the boss's office, they saw a man who also looked a lot like Lucy sitting at a desk. He was rather strange. "Oh, hello there! I'm Rodrick, the boss of Team Sol, and you must be the invaders! It's a pleasure to meet you!" And looking over to Lucy, he said "And especially you. You came at a perfect time, I was just making arrangments-"

"Wait, what are you talking about?" She was confused.

After a short silence, he said, pointing to his face, "Can you not recognize your father? Oh right you've never met me before! Silly me!"

Here eyes got wide. "What." She turned to Lance, still in shock. "Why didn't you tell me?"

After a long sigh, he said "I promised your mother I wouldn't tell you until you, and I also didn't want you to know."

A sigh also came from Lucy. "Its fine. I can understand why. But what am I going to do now?"

"You have a choice." Said a voice from behind. "You can stay with us, or you can go back. But if you do, you will be under constant supervision." It was the boy from earlier.

"Oh yes! This is your older brother, Alex. He would be the one taking you home, if you decide to to that."

"I've come to my decision." She stood up. "I guess I'll stay with you." Lance was surprised. She looked at him. "You've been struggling recently, right? I don't want to be a burden any longer."

*********

_aaaaaaaand thats it, since I can't come up with anything else! _


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